Side note

I decided this week I need a dog. I feel like I'm in a better groove at work. I'm financially settled enough to take on the responsibility, and I could use the companionship. So I've been browsing petfinder and I will be making a trip this week to the pound. I've emailed a few people about dogs I've seen on petfinder but I'll likely snatch one up at the montgomery county animal shelter this week. They tend to be the dogs in the greatest need, but I'm NOT going to just grab the first dog I see. I love Mae to DEATH but if I get another dog like her I will stab my eye out. I want a calmer, more obedient dog.

I'm also going friday to look at a horse to lease. He's an eighteen year old thoroughbred who needs a bit more exercise than he's currently getting. I'm under the impression he is mostly retired. The lady seems nice and he's at a dressage barn. His owner seemed very down to earth and sweet, so I'm hopeful it's going to be a laid back, fun dressage barn, not an uppity dressage queen castle.

I also removed several people from my life recently. A few more directly, but mostly from my facebook. This weekend was really hard. It finally hit me that Katie was dead. And next month is my sister's birthday, and my dad won't be here for that.

And I realized that girls I've known for 8, 10, 12 years haven't even checked in on me. One person specifically I am so incredibly disappointed in. I completely understand we all get busy and sometimes in life we lose touch (I am the worst at calling people), but I can't imagine someone I've been close with for A DECADE losing their father and their horse (or dog, or whatever), knowing that friend was very close to BOTH and doing nothing. I can't imagine not at least calling or sending a card, or flowers, or ANYTHING.

I've been fairly happy, all things considered, but I need to bring happiness into my life. I can't sit around waiting for my so-called "friends" to be there for me. Clearly, that is not going to happen.

So I'm going to make some room to go out and FIND friends that will. I've been very lucky to have some amazing friends (MaryAshley and Ellen, you two are amazing and I love you to pieces) but in order to bring happiness into my life I'm going to go out and find it. And if you can't be there for me through the tough times, you surely don't deserve to be there for the good ones!