I have only dreamed about having such strong and unwavering conviction on topics such as economic policy, and how an ENTIRE COUNTRY should be run. Sometimes I WISH life could be as black and white as so many democrats and republicans make it seem. Or should I say Red and Blue?
I've considered this theory and I think it reflects the GENERAL overtones of both the republican and democratic parties in this sense:
Republicans believe in a smaller government, fewer taxes, and Democrats look towards a "strong" government and better use of taxes.
So here goes...*
You can tell a republican versus a democrat by the way they drive.
*Please note; the following is not meant to be taken seriously. Really. Like, at all. Except that Texas really DO drive like that. And Ohio is, well, probably fairly accurate in driving as well. However the relations to political party is TOTALLY a joke.
Texas
Buddy down here it's each man for himself, and you better get the HELL out of my way. Or stop when I decide to pull out in front of you, because I WILL. You think I'm going to wait for my light to turn green? FUCK no. My truck is bigger than yours so I have the right of way. So what if I'm driving a Chevy Aveo? My truck is at home. And it's bigger. Take my word for it, because I'm FAR too important and busy talking on my cell phone to explain this to you. Or use my turn signal. Or yield when I'm merging into traffic. I have places to go, and let's face it, I'm more important than you. So get out of my way. More road signs? Shoot, half the people down here can't read, we don't need no new-fangled road signs! Down here we got us some turn-a-rounds or just pop a U-ie if you miss your turn. Stop signs? No ma'am! Stop signs are for CHICKENS, and we're not chickens, we're TEXANS.
Ohio
Well hello there! Sir, can I get over there? I know you're already in the lane but I need to get off on that exit coming up and if you'd be so kind as to let me in. Oh dear, what's the speed limit again? 16? 25? Okay, thanks SO MUCH for letting me over! The 1,304 people stuck behind me really appreciate it, too. See, the problem is we don't have enough road signs!! We should make sure we include more signs and reduce the speed limits to 60 to help everyone get to their destination safer, and permanently late. You know, while we're looking at banning cell phones while driving we should also consider requiring drivers to get out and push their vehicles through school zones to prevent any further accidents. OH! Miss? Was it your turn to go or mine? I never could figure out these four-way stops. How do you know whose turn it is? Shouldn't someone be in the intersection to direct traffic?
Houstonians are TERRIBLE drivers!!! And they KNOW it! Everyone admits to it but no one does anything about it.
Kind of like corruption in politics, I guess.
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